in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
It's blow job season.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
