I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
