is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
