Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
