You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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