I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
