Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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