I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
