What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
