You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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