Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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