I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
