is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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