Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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