we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
