ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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