i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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