Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
