OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
