What a fucking waste of an outfit
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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