I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
