Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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