3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
