i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
