Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
