whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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