it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
