So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
