So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
