better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
