how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there was a trapeze. enough said
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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