i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
i believe in u and ur pee
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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