I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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