wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize