Non-Jews are for practice
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
