do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
