Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
