I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
