It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
