he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
