Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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