Your dad touched me again.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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