Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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