You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
