come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
