i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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