I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
