I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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