i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
