Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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